Aristotle as a football player
A scouting report from Legends Draft, the parody game where famous people play football. The ratings are made up for fun.
Photo: After Lysippos, Public domain
Natural position
LB Linebacker
Grade
79OVRTutored Alexander the Great. Sorted all of nature into groups, including blitz packages.
Ratings
Made up for the game, 40 to 99.
- Arm
- 52
- Speed
- 60
- Power
- 72
- Smarts
- 98
- Clutch
- 79
Best positions
Anyone can line up anywhere. Each position weighs the five ratings its own way, and off the natural position a legend loses a few points.
- LBLinebacker, natural79
- SSafety77
- OLOffensive lineman75
- FBFullback70
Scouting report
- Pros
- Tutored Alexander the Great. 98 IQ.
- Cons
- 60 speed. Will classify the tackle instead of making it.
- Pro comp
- A film-room legend
Aristotle in real life
Real life
Greek philosopher
- Lived
- 384 BC to 322 BC
- Known as
- philosopher, biologist, cosmologist, logician
Facts from Wikidata (CC0).
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Charles DarwinSurvival of the fittest is basically training camp.80OVR
Edgar Allan PoeQuoth the raven: three and out.80OVR
Susan B. AnthonyVoted when she was told she could not. Blitzes with the same nerve.80OVR
Sun TzuWrote The Art of War. Every defensive coordinator owns a copy.81OVR
Jim HensonBrought the Muppets to life. Brings a sideline to life.82OVR
Put Aristotle on your team
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Draft AristotleParody game. Ratings are made up for fun. Not affiliated with or endorsed by anyone depicted.