If Eminem played baseball: starting pitcher, rated 86

Eminem as a baseball player: scouting report

Eminem made his name in the battle rap rooms of Detroit, where the whole job is reading an opponent and having the answer ready before he finishes. That is pitching. He would be a starter who studies the hitter in the box, notices the shift in his feet and goes to the pitch he is not looking for. His pitching is one of the two top marks on his card, and his eye is the very best of them, so he sees a swing plan coming and changes the sequence on the fly.

Think of his writing. He stacks internal rhymes and builds verses that land hard on the last syllable, and a good starter strings pitches together the same way, setting up the high fastball with two breaking balls away. Lose Yourself became the first hip hop song to win the Academy Award for Best Original Song, a sign of someone who delivers when the moment is biggest. In baseball that is the pitcher you want in a deciding game, working through the order a third time without losing his rhythm. His fielding is solid too, so bunts back to the mound turn into outs.

Power is the one soft spot on the card, which matters only if he ever has to hit. He has enough contact and eye to handle second base, his next best spot, and he can catch, where his feel for a hitter's weak spots would make him an easy partner for any staff. As a drafter, take him as a front half starter, pair him with a catcher who lets him call his own game and stack your lineup with sluggers to cover the bat he will not bring.

Plays like A crafty starter who sequences pitches like a rhyme scheme

Put Eminem in your lineup

12 rolls, nine hitters and a rotation, 162 games. Can you win 117? Free, no account.