If Audrey Hepburn played baseball: shortstop, rated 82

Audrey Hepburn as a baseball player: scouting report

Audrey Hepburn trained seriously as a ballet dancer before she ever acted, studying in Amsterdam and then in London with Marie Rambert. That is why she plays shortstop. Ballet is footwork, balance and timing, and the best shortstops move the same way, gliding to the ball, setting their feet in one motion and releasing before the runner is halfway down the line. Her fielding is the best mark on her card, and she would make the position look effortless.

Her contact is right behind it. She would hit like the actress she became, precise and unhurried, flicking the ball through the right side and running hard out of the box. Her speed is excellent, which makes her a natural leadoff hitter, and her eye is good enough to draw her share of walks. She won the Academy Award for Roman Holiday, her first starring role in Hollywood, which tells you how quickly she would adjust to the big leagues. Later she spent years traveling as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, and she would bring that same generosity to a clubhouse.

Power is the soft spot, and her arm is short of what the position usually wants, so pair her with a third baseman who has range to his left and a first baseman who can pick throws out of the dirt. Second base is almost as good a fit and takes the long throw away entirely, and she can play the outfield if needed. Take her in the middle rounds for her glove, bat her first and let the rest of the lineup supply the home runs.

Plays like An elegant glove first shortstop with a slap hitting bat

Put Audrey Hepburn in your lineup

12 rolls, nine hitters and a rotation, 162 games. Can you win 117? Free, no account.