If Madonna played baseball: first base, rated 81

Madonna as a baseball player: scouting report

Madonna has already worn the uniform. In A League of Their Own she played All the Way Mae, the center fielder for the Rockford Peaches. In this game she lands at first base, and it fits: first base asks for a hitter above everything else, and her approach at the plate is the best thing she brings. Her eye is the top mark on her card, the eye of an artist who spent four decades spotting where pop music was headed and getting there first.

Contact sits right behind it. She would be a line drive hitter who adjusts from pitch to pitch, much the way she moved from the New York dance clubs of the early 1980s to Like a Virgin, Vogue and Ray of Light, each one a new sound and each one a hit. She trained as a dancer at the University of Michigan before heading to New York, and that footwork helps around the bag, where her fielding is solid and her speed is better than most first basemen can claim.

The arm is the weak spot, which is a big reason she belongs at first instead of the outfield she played on screen. Her power is moderate, so think doubles hitter rather than cleanup slugger, and bat her second or third. If you need a middle infielder, she slides to second base with a small drop, and designated hitter keeps the bat in the lineup on a day off. Draft her as a high average corner bat in the middle rounds and pair her with a true slugger.

Plays like A line drive first baseman who adjusts every at bat

Put Madonna in your lineup

12 rolls, nine hitters and a rotation, 162 games. Can you win 117? Free, no account.