If Meryl Streep played hockey: right wing, rated 80

Meryl Streep as a hockey player: scouting report

Meryl Streep plays right wing, and her game is built on the same thing as her acting: total control of the details. She has received more Academy Award nominations than any other performer and won three Oscars, and a forward with that track record is the one you want shooting in a close game. Shooting is the best mark on her card, with passing right behind it, so she can beat a goalie clean from the circle or slide a pass through the crease when the defense commits to her.

She is famous for mastering accents and mannerisms for each role, and on the ice that becomes deception. A winger who can sell a shot and then pass, or look off a defender the way she disappears into a character, makes goalies guess wrong. She trained at the Yale School of Drama, and that preparation shows in how she would study a goalie's habits before the opening faceoff. Her defense is solid, so she can be trusted on the backcheck, and her goaltending mark suggests she reads the play from the back the way a netminder would.

Physical play is the weakest part of her card, and her skating is modest too, so she wins with positioning and timing rather than speed or strength. Pair her with a fast, physical center who can win pucks and get them to her in the right circle. Center is a fine second spot thanks to her passing, and goalie is an equal option. She has done it all on screen, from The Devil Wears Prada to singing in Mamma Mia, and that range makes her one of the more versatile forwards in the draft. Use her as a power play specialist and give her the puck on her strong side.

Plays like A crafty sniper who sells every fake

Put Meryl Streep in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting six and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.