If Dolly Parton played hockey: right wing, rated 82

Dolly Parton as a hockey player: scouting report

Put Dolly Parton on the right wing and she becomes the forward every coach trusts in the last minute of a one goal game. The surprise on her card is that the strongest mark belongs to goaltending, with defense right behind it, and that tells you how she sees the ice. She watches plays develop the way a goalie does, from the back, and she is usually standing in the passing lane before the pass is made. A writer who turned office life into a working anthem with 9 to 5 treats backchecking as part of the shift, not an extra.

Her shooting is serviceable rather than lethal, so she scores more off rebounds and second chances than off clean wristers from the circle. Her passing is one of the better parts of her game, which suits a winger who would rather find the open stick than force a shot into a goalie's chest. The Imagination Library she started to mail free books to young children runs on the same instinct: hand the good thing to the person in the best position to use it.

Physical play is the honest weakness. She is not going to win many puck battles by leaning on a bigger defenseman, and a drafter should not ask her to. She wins by arriving first instead, since her skating is solid enough to beat a forechecker to a loose puck. Her goalie rating is close enough to her wing rating that she doubles as a backup in net, and center is a workable third option. Pair her with a heavy left winger who can do the digging in the corners, and let her play the smart, positional game that has kept Dollywood humming in the Smoky Mountains since 1986.

Plays like A two way winger who reads the play like a goalie

Put Dolly Parton in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting six and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.