If Michael Jackson played golf: rated 81, best at nerve

Michael Jackson as a golfer: scouting report

Michael Jackson spent his life perfecting movement down to the inch, and golf would reward that more than most people expect. The moonwalk he unveiled on the Motown 25 television special in 1983 was all balance, control and timing, and those are exactly the qualities a great chipper leans on. His short game is one of the two best skills on his card. Picture him nipping a flop shot off a tight lie, the ball landing soft as a whisper and checking beside the flag.

His nerve is even stronger. Someone who first performed with his brothers as a small child and later headlined stadium tours around the world does not flinch over a short putt on the last green. His putting is very good, his course IQ is sharp, and his iron play is steady enough to keep him near the greens where his hands take over. Thriller became the best selling album of all time, and his golf would carry that same polish: every shot rehearsed, nothing wasted.

The weakness is distance. Driving is the lowest mark on his card, so he will not overpower anything, and The Long Course Championship is the one major where that really hurts him. The Links Open suits him far better, because running the ball along firm ground and inventing shots in the wind is pure feel. Draft him as the touch specialist on your roster, pair him with a big hitter, and save him for the weeks when the greens are firm and the wind is up.

Plays like A wizard around the greens with the calmest hands on the course

Put Michael Jackson in your lineup

5 rolls, a team of five, four majors. Can you win the Grand Slam? Free, no account.