If Queen Victoria played basketball: small forward, rated 70

Queen Victoria as a basketball player: scouting report

Queen Victoria came to the throne at eighteen in 1837 and held it for more than sixty three years, which tells you most of what you need to know about how she would play small forward: she takes her spot and nobody moves her off it. Her basketball IQ is the best part of her card and her rebounding comes next, so she is the forward who boxes out first, reads where the miss is heading and comes down with the ball.

She kept a journal for most of her life, writing in it almost every day, and that kind of discipline makes for a defender who remembers every tendency of the player in front of her. Her defense grades out level with her rebounding. She took up Hindustani lessons late in her reign, so learning a new playbook in midseason would not trouble her either. Her shooting and passing are serviceable rather than special; she scores off putbacks, short jumpers from the elbow and the open looks her positioning creates. She was also a keen amateur painter and sketcher, and she sees the floor with the same patient eye.

Athleticism is the honest weakness, and it is the lowest mark on her card by a distance. She will not beat anyone down the floor, so she belongs on a half court team that values patience over pace. Her rebounding and defense make power forward and center real options at only a small step down, which gives a drafter useful flexibility in the later rounds. Pair her with a quick guard who can push the ball and a shooter who keeps the lane open, and let her hold the paint.

Plays like A heady forward who boxes out and never gives up her position

Put Queen Victoria in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting five and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.