If Queen Victoria played hockey: left wing, rated 71

Queen Victoria as a hockey player: scouting report

Queen Victoria takes the left wing, a position that rewards strength along the boards. She came to the throne at eighteen in 1837 and held it for more than six decades, long enough that an entire era carries her name, so it fits that the best part of her card is physical play. She is the winger who goes into the corner first, comes out with the puck and does not give up an inch of ice in front of the net.

Her defense is the next best mark, and it suits her temperament. She kept a detailed journal for most of her life, writing day after day, and a winger with that kind of steady attention to detail is the one who picks up the trailing forward on the backcheck and never loses her check in the defensive zone. Her shooting and passing are modest, so her goals come from rebounds and screens rather than highlight plays. She was also a capable amateur artist who sketched and painted watercolors, a hobby that rewards patience, and she plays a patient game.

Skating is the honest weakness. She is not going to win races to loose pucks or carry the play from end to end, so a drafter should pair her with a quick center who can do the transporting while she does the heavy work. Her strength and defensive reads make defenseman a sensible second position, where she would play a steady, stay at home game and keep the crease clear. Goalie is a distant third. Draft her in the middle rounds as the grinder every championship roster needs, the forward who makes life miserable for anyone who skates into her corner.

Plays like A rugged two way winger who wins every board battle

Put Queen Victoria in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting six and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.