If Queen Victoria played soccer: winger, rated 76

Queen Victoria as a soccer player: scouting report

Queen Victoria plays on the wing, but not the way a sprinter does. She reigned from 1837 to 1901, and a reign of more than sixty years is built on staying power rather than speed. In the front three that makes her the wide player a manager trusts to track back: she presses the opposing fullback, wins the ball back high up the pitch and holds her position without ever needing to be told twice.

Defending is the best part of her card and her physical strength is right behind it, so she wins her battles along the touchline and rarely gets bundled off the ball. She kept a journal almost every day of her adult life, and that habit of steady routine reads like a winger who does the unglamorous work every single match. She sketched and painted watercolors too, so give her a moment of space and her passing can pick out a striker with a little artistry. Her shooting is tidy rather than thunderous, best from cutting inside onto a short finish.

Pace is the honest weakness. She will not burn a fullback down the line, so her crosses come from early positions and her chances come from intelligent movement rather than speed. That is also why her card holds up so well at center back, where tackling and strength do the heavy lifting; it is a strong second option and nearly as good as her natural spot. Pair her with an overlapping fullback who provides the width she will not, and draft her as a flexible piece who can anchor the back line once your wide spots are filled.

Plays like A hard working wide forward who wins every duel on the touchline

Put Queen Victoria in your lineup

11 rolls, a starting eleven, 38 matches. Can you go 38-0? Free, no account.