If William the Conqueror played hockey: left wing, rated 78

William the Conqueror as a hockey player: scouting report

William the Conqueror would play left wing, and he would treat the offensive blue line the way he treated the English Channel in 1066: as something to cross with total commitment. He had been Duke of Normandy since he was a boy, and he spent most of his life on the move, building, holding and defending his lands. That drive makes physical play the best thing on his card. He would charge the net, win the corners and take the front of the crease by force.

His defense is the second best part of his game, and it fits a ruler famous for castles. After he was crowned at Westminster Abbey on Christmas Day in 1066, he built strongholds across England, including the White Tower at the heart of the Tower of London. A winger with that mindset protects his own zone like a fortress and never leaves his defensemen exposed. Late in his reign he ordered the Domesday Book, a detailed survey of nearly every piece of land in his kingdom, so he knows exactly where every player on the ice is.

Passing is the weak spot. He was not a ruler who liked to share control, and on the ice he would rather carry the puck to the net himself than set up a teammate. His skating is respectable and his shot is steady. Defenseman is a good second spot and goalie a usable third. Pair him with a creative center who can handle the playmaking and a sniper on the right wing, and send him straight at the opposing net, where his determination does the most damage.

Plays like A bruising power winger who crosses the line and takes the net

Put William the Conqueror in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting six and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.