If Elton John played hockey: left wing, rated 76

Elton John as a hockey player: scouting report

Elton John would play left wing, and he would play it like a man who has pounded a piano through thousands of concerts around the world. Physical play is the best part of his card. He would plant himself at the top of the crease, absorb cross checks, tip shots and keep coming back for more, which is the hockey version of a career that took him from the Royal Academy of Music to the biggest stages in the world. Fittingly, one of his signature hits is about still standing.

His defense is the second best part of his game, and he already knows how a sports club works. He has twice served as chairman of Watford Football Club, the English soccer team he supported as a boy, and he has watched more matches from the stands than most scouts. That understanding of team shape shows in how he plays his own zone: he stays in position, takes away the point shot and supports his defensemen low. His shooting and passing are steady and even.

Skating is the weak spot. He is not the winger to chase a breakaway, so he should start his shifts on offense and do his work in the dirty areas. Defenseman is the next best spot, with goalie close behind. His songwriting partnership with Bernie Taupin has lasted more than five decades, and he would thrive the same way with a long term linemate: a fast center who can carry the puck and a sniper on the right side. Draft him in the middle rounds as your net front presence on the power play.

Plays like A sturdy net front winger who is still standing after every hit

Put Elton John in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting six and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.