If Robin Williams played soccer: central midfielder, rated 84

Robin Williams as a soccer player: scouting report

Robin Williams plays central midfield because no one in this pool was better at making it up on the spot. His stand up comedy was built on improvisation, leaping from one idea to the next faster than an audience could follow, and that is the gift of a midfielder who receives the ball in traffic and finds a way out nobody planned. Dribbling is the best part of his card, so he is the one who turns away from pressure, glides past a lunging tackle and drives into the space behind.

He trained at Juilliard before Mork and Mindy made him a star, which gave the improvisation a classical base, and his passing is strong enough to finish the moves his feet start. As the Genie in Aladdin he riffed his way through the recording sessions, and on the pitch that becomes the disguised pass, the reverse ball and the flick that sends a winger clean through. He won an Oscar for Good Will Hunting, a reminder that he could play it quiet and straight too, and his defending is honest enough that he tracks back when the ball is lost. Goalkeeping is the surprise second best mark on his card, and quick reactions make sense for a performer who could answer any interruption in a heartbeat.

Physical play is the honest weakness. He will not win many shoulder to shoulder battles or bully a holding midfielder off the ball, so he needs a ball winner beside him to do the dirty work. Winger is another real option, where his dribbling can take on a fullback in open space. Draft him as the creative heartbeat of a midfield three, flank him with a tireless runner and a tough tackler, and let him play.

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Put Robin Williams in your lineup

11 rolls, a starting eleven, 38 matches. Can you go 38-0? Free, no account.