If Jeff Bezos played soccer: central midfielder, rated 84

Jeff Bezos as a soccer player: scouting report

Jeff Bezos plays central midfield because the job is logistics. Amazon began in 1994 as an online bookstore run out of a garage in Bellevue, Washington, and grew into a company built around getting the right thing to the right place on time. That is a deep lying playmaker's whole brief. Passing is the strongest part of his card, so he sits in front of the back four, takes the ball under pressure and plays it into the feet of whoever has the most space, usually one pass before the opponent sees the danger coming.

He studied electrical engineering and computer science at Princeton, and the engineer shows in how he plays: patient, systematic and always thinking two phases ahead. His shooting is good enough to punish a team that sits off him at the edge of the box, and his defending gives him the bite to break up a counter before it starts. Goalkeeping is the surprise second best mark on his card, which makes him the rare outfield player a manager could trust with the gloves in an emergency. He rode Blue Origin's New Shepard to the edge of space in 2021, so a penalty shootout should not rattle him much.

Pace is the honest weakness. He will not win a foot race with a quick winger, which is why he belongs in the middle of the pitch, where the ball does the running. Pair him with an energetic box to box partner who covers ground for him, and give him a pair of quick wingers who can turn his long diagonals into chances. He drops off as a winger, so draft him as your midfield anchor and build the engine room around his range of passing.

Plays like A deep lying playmaker who builds every attack from the back

Put Jeff Bezos in your lineup

11 rolls, a starting eleven, 38 matches. Can you go 38-0? Free, no account.