If Jeff Bezos played baseball: starting pitcher, rated 89

Jeff Bezos as a baseball player: scouting report

Jeff Bezos goes to the mound. Starting pitching rewards whoever plans furthest ahead, and he started Amazon in 1994 out of a garage in Bellevue, Washington, selling books online with a far bigger plan already in mind. A starter has to think the same way: what he throws a hitter in the first inning sets up the third time through the order. His pitching is the top mark on his card, and it comes with a strategist's patience.

His eye is the other headline rating, and on the mound that becomes pitch recognition from the other side: knowing what a hitter is sitting on and throwing something else. The arm is strong, so the fastball has life, and his fielding is good enough to handle comebackers and cover first. He studied electrical engineering and computer science at Princeton, and there is an engineer's precision to the way he would work a count. Expect him to keep a notebook on every opponent. He also rode his own Blue Origin rocket to the edge of space in 2021, so a bases loaded jam in the sixth will not rattle him.

Speed is the honest weakness. He will not beat out bunts or steal a base, which barely matters for a pitcher. What stands out is how complete the rest of his card is: if your rotation is full, he can catch, where his eye and arm still play, or handle third base with surprising pop. Draft him as a rotation anchor in the early rounds, then pair him with a defensive catcher and a rangy shortstop so his ground balls turn into outs.

Plays like A cerebral ace who plans the lineup three times through

Put Jeff Bezos in your lineup

12 rolls, nine hitters and a rotation, 162 games. Can you win 117? Free, no account.