If Queen Elizabeth II played hockey: left wing, rated 74

Queen Elizabeth II as a hockey player: scouting report

Queen Elizabeth II gets a sweater on the left wing, and she would have the most reliable attendance record on the roster. She reigned for seventy years, longer than any other British monarch, and the best parts of her card are the qualities that kind of durability demands: physical play first, defense right behind it. She is the checking winger who finishes every check, wins the puck along the wall and is still taking regular shifts deep into the third period.

There is a real hockey connection here. As Queen of Canada she dropped the ceremonial puck at a Vancouver Canucks game in 2002, during her Golden Jubilee tour. Long before that, she served in the Auxiliary Territorial Service during the Second World War and trained as a driver and mechanic, so she was never shy about practical, hands on work. That shows up in her defensive game, where she takes away passing lanes and blocks shots without complaint. Her shooting and passing are level with each other, solid rather than flashy, which makes her a winger who chips in on the forecheck rather than one who quarterbacks a power play.

Skating is where her card dips. She will not beat many defensemen wide, so she should play with a quick center who can carry the puck while she heads to the hard areas. Her blend of strength and defensive sense makes defenseman a natural second spot, and goalie is a workable third. A lifelong horsewoman who bred and raced thoroughbreds, she knows how to keep a steady rhythm over a long season. Draft her in the middle rounds for a shutdown line and let her grind down the other team's top scorers.

Plays like A durable checking winger who never misses a shift

Put Queen Elizabeth II in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting six and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.