If Warren Buffett played hockey: left wing, rated 76

Warren Buffett as a hockey player: scouting report

Warren Buffett would play left wing, and he would play it with a patience no other forward in the league can match. His whole career has been built on waiting for the right opportunity and holding on to what he owns for the long haul, and he ran Berkshire Hathaway from Omaha for decades with the same philosophy year after year. On the ice that becomes the best defense on his card. He would never cheat for offense, never throw a blind pass up the middle and never give the puck away cheaply.

Physical play is his next best skill, and it shows up as stubbornness more than force. Once he has the puck along the boards, prying it away is nearly impossible. He studied under Benjamin Graham at Columbia, delivered newspapers as a boy in Washington and has written his famously plain spoken annual letters to shareholders for decades, and that clear thinking makes his passing the best part of his offense. He is also a devoted bridge player, so he reads what the other team is holding and always takes the safe option in his own zone.

Skating is the clear weak spot. He is not going to win footraces, so he belongs on a checking line that starts in the offensive zone and keeps the puck there. Defenseman is a good second spot and center a usable third. Pair him with a fast center who can carry the puck through the neutral zone and a shooting right winger, then trust him to make the safe, smart play every single shift. Over a full season, few players make fewer mistakes.

Plays like A patient defensive winger who never makes a careless play

Put Warren Buffett in your lineup

8 rolls, a starting six and a bench, 82 games. Can you go 82-0? Free, no account.